About two weeks to go now! (freaking out!)

So, after some thought, I have altered my final major project, again. Its no longer about the chimera, its about Digital Ghosts and Ghost Profiles. I’m having some problems, because I want my final piece to be quite graphic and illustrative, but I wonder which is the best route to go down? I’d really like to make a scrap-book type thing, but I’m not sure if thats Okay for a FMP. I guess this year has left me a bit deflated and stuck for ideas. I wish we had more briefs before we got to this point, I feel like I’ve used up all my originality. Never mind

Anyway, recently I’ve been pretty busy, what with going to visit my parents and a couple of days of camping in the New Forest. I’ve also been kind of ill recently.

I was hoping these breaks would give me some kind of epiphany about my project, alas. No such luck. And now Im looking at deadlines and thinking, oh balls.

Just what exactly am I trying to say here? Other than computers-are-evil-and-we-are-all-cyborgs-and-stuff. I’ve been trying to write an essay on my project to help me get my thoughts together, but they just become ramblings. Its easy to explain what I mean, but actually trying to say it in a vaguely intelligent way is really hard. I suppose writing my dissertation has left me somewhat deflated. And because I want to get the concept right, it seems like I haven’t got much visually to put to this project. Other than pixilated pictures. I am still unsure about my final outcome, and I know I’m not the only one feeling the pressure. I will save the moaning for somewhere else.

Recently I’ve been thinking about writing a manifesto for my project. But what kind of manifesto? The Cyborg Manifesto is really interesting, and I recommend anyone read it, the Hackers Manifesto …. not so much. A Digital Duality Manifesto :>

Moving swiftly along ….

In my second year all my projects where about being at one with nature, about Taoism and wabi-sabi. And now this year its about cyborgs, chimera’s and dual identities. I’m not sure if its the natural progression of things.

When I was speaking to one of my tutors about my project, she said something that I thought was really interesting. That the Internet is a kind of external hard-drive. Its true that I don’t bother to remember anything anymore, not properly, not when I have a phone, two laptops, an Internet tablet and various other screens that connect me to the Internet, when information resides. I was also reading around Marshal McLuhan, and what he said about the Internet being a global village, a “technological brain” for the rest of the world. In the book Connected by Shiviro, this idea is kind of turned on its head. The Internet isnt a reflection of our brains, our brains are miniature models of the Internet, but closed off, without the vast possibilities of the internet.

Anyway, I’ve watched Metropolis again, I’m avoiding Ghost in the Shell and Serial Experiments Lain and sticking to Sterlac and Steve Mann.

As I suspected, after my third or forth round of work experience/interning, I’m still no closer to knowing what it is I am supposed to be doing with my life. Recently I’ve been looking at loads of different things, from gardening jobs to archiving internships to volunteering in Malaysia. Nothing is standing out to me! I am lost in a sea of apathy (just for a change).

It was easier when I was a kid and I could just flippantly choose whatever I wanted to be based on what I last saw on television. I don’t see why I still cant be a paleontologist/artist/fire fighter/yellow power ranger.

Anyway, ranting aside, going to Random House for the last two weeks mean I’ve been enjoying visiting Tate Britain on my lunch break and using the student cafe at Chelsea college. Whilst on one of my lunch breaks I came across a piece of work by Cerith Wyn Evans (born 1958) called Inverse Reverse Pervers. 

It really is odd and you have to see it to properly experience it. The mirror image is upside down, magnified and warped. It sort of makes you feel dizzy or drunk and the more you stare at it the more uneasy you feel. I could help but feel the mirror was actually reflecting how I feel, disjointed, confused, and distracted.

Despite this (try and sound more cheerful) my last critique at uni went really well, I even managed to make the class laugh. My project (as I may have already said) is about our relationship with the Internet. With the rejection of the physical for the digital, and with our addict/enabler relationship with the electronic world. I’ve been questioning what it means to have a digital presence, and if it truly reflects our true selves or the idealized. Are our facebook profiles reflections of the people we wish to be? Do we use the Internet to hide parts of ourselves that we don’t want others to see? Are we ever really offline? As one world grows does the physical crumble, which is more true or accurate? Does anyone else think about this stuff or am I just turning into some kind of technology fearing luddite who will eventually go mad and trash my laptop? (ANGST)

or what if its the other way around?

Anyway, best not to worry now!

Today I had an idea about my Final Major Project, which was great because I’ve had approximately 0 ideas over the last couple of weeks. My project is about the rejection of the physical for the digital. I got a great reception from my “Repository” project and it even seemed to be quite popular online. Here is the webpage for the Interim Show http://interimshow.tumblr.com/

This weekend just gone, we’ve been painting and trying to properly move in to our new place in Catford, there’s moving in, and then theres actually unpacking boxes and setting up. Apparently they are not the same thing! Anyway, the new house is still displaying signs of TRAGIC 50′s style. Fortunately most of its gone but there is still plenty of little reminders knocking around. One of the particularly AWFUL 50′s fireplaces got ripped out of the bedroom (Thank  Gawd) but there was a rather large hole left in the wall. So, this weekend, I picked up some plaster, and I PLASTERED THE WALL, I actually did it! It looks ok! Considering I’ve never done it before. However I am a builder’s daughter…. so I have new found plastering/decorating talent. Go me.

Today was BEAUTIFUL. It was really warm at lunch and sitting out side Tate Britain opposite Chelsea collage was really nice. I was even tempted to buy a £6 sandwich in the Tate but I resisted!

Coming home it was really warm and had that kind of hazy balmy atmosphere, even made Elephant and Castle look alright. 

I got given a couple of bamboo canes as a gift, but the pot they came in was not very good, as it couldn’t hold enough water, so now my living room is cluttered with jam jars holding bamboo canes. As if it wasn’t filled with house plants a budgies anyway.

Our back garden is also a bit of a wild wood, we have green parakeets visit quite frequently, and cats and jays and squirrels and toads…. to name but a few.

Heres something I made in the summer for a magazine, they didn’t use it (booo) so I figured it was time to give it an airing.

Anyone else looking forward to the horror of christmas? I can’t wait.

I’d love them to have their own story, something where they run around ‘saving’ the world and being ‘awesome’. They really need names and personalities … I imagined the tall one to model himself on the classic superhero, and would often monologue or spent his time posing. The smaller one would have seen a Bruce Lee movie and karate chop his way through crime! 

If anyone feels like writing it, go for it, I’d be happy to read!